Our Journey: Life Before & After Our Miracle : Got my computer working right again!

Friday, January 31, 2014

Got my computer working right again!

For the past 5 weeks or so, my computer wouldn't allow me to do anything on my blog. Which is why the pictures and updates got so behind! But I was able to get around the issue today, and everything is back up to date!

Things have been crazy since I last posted anything. Important things first, though. They still have me on the Procardia medication and so far I haven't had any issues with more pre-term labor! They will be taking me off of the meds at 36 weeks, so I have a little over a week before I stop taking them. Everything is starting to get a little bit more real. I'm starting to feel very anxious about these last few weeks, and most specifically, nervous and scared about the labor and delivery process. After I post this update I am going to post a copy of my birth plan, just for kicks and giggles. I can't wait to meet our little girl.

I really can't complain much about my pregnancy. It's been very difficult some days, yes (can't lie about that), but we have been blessed with such a little miracle and I know it's going to make it all worth it. The toughest things I'm dealing with these days, is probably the constant aching and the extreme heartburn at night. I've found a sort of solution for the heartburn, though, and it has been helping me this past week to get more sleep. I don't eat or drink anything after 5 if I can help it. If I feel like I'm starving and ABSOLUTELY have to eat something (which happens on occasion LOL), I make sure it's something extremely light, like crackers. That has really been helping the heartburn not be as intense as it was.

More so than anything else these days, I'm really struggling with all these changes to my body. It probably wouldn't be so bad if people didn't feel like they needed to make insulting comments all the time (I could write a book about all the comments people have made), but then again, who knows. I'd probably still feel this bad about my body even if no one said anything. I've gained about 38 pounds up to this point......so I'm already over the "recommended weight gain" for an average woman (25-35 pounds). It's getting harder and harder to find clothes in my closet that fit me, and that makes me even more self conscious. But, as I said before, I know this little angel is going to be worth every bit of it!

School started back in full swing on January 10th. I already had my first exam, which I made a low B on. I feel like I should have and could have scored a whole lot higher, but I didn't prioritize. I've had so much going on and I didn't really give studying my 100%. That's okay though :) There's always the next test.

Skylee's nursery is ALMOST complete :) I can't wait to post pictures. It's really turned out beautifully.

One of the most pressing things I need to get done now is my maternity pics! I'm so nervous that I'm going to go into labor and not get these pictures done!!! It's just been hard because Daniel's schedule has been flip-flopping like crazy. Hopefully here within the next week I will be able to get them done!

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The Story of Our Struggle

We met in 2009, and were married in January, 2012. We both decided to wait to have a baby, so that we could enjoy being young and newly married. Surprisingly, even with our precautions, we discovered we were pregnant in May, 2012. Sadly, the pregnancy didn't last long, and I had a miscarriage at approximately 5 weeks pregnant. We were both devastated. I struggled with the question of how I could love a little one so much that I thought I "wasn't ready for". After the miscarriage, we decided to stop using precautions and to allow a baby to happen when the timing was right. Almost exactly a year later, on April 30th, I received the phone call from the doctor that my blood test came back positive. I was sure this time would be different. I painted a shell (with the words "will you be our baby's daddy") to announce the pregnancy to Daniel (just like he proposed to me). We made Mother's Day gifts to announce the pregnancy to our families on Mother's Day. The day before Mother's Day, however, I started bleeding, and on that following Monday I received miscarriage confirmation. The first miscarriage was hard, but this one truly devastated me. I didn't want to function. I literally wanted to just withdraw from everyone and spend each day in tears. Thankfully, as a few weeks went by, I felt stronger and my heart was healing. Daniel was my rock. He held me, cried with me, and walked me through a really hard time in my life.

The doctors had told me my uterus is extremely tilted back, which kind of explained why it had taken me exactly a year in between pregnancies to conceive again. Actually, I had two different doctors tell me that because of the extreme tilt, I could possibly never get pregnant. So, knowing that, I really didn't think a third pregnancy would happen......at all, or at least not any time soon.

Only a month and a half later, I tested positive again (on Daniel's 23rd birthday). I immediately sent a picture of the test to my family and his family. I saw no reason to try to make some kind of special reveal like I had with the last. That only made it harder when I lost that little one. I went to the doctor and got blood test confirmation, and they began having me come in every other day to have blood drawn to see if this baby was growing properly. Things looked good, and the weeks began to go by. I started making it to little milestones.
We found out when I was 17 weeks that we were having a baby girl. Words cannot describe the complete joy and happiness I felt making it to the ultrasound for gender determination. As the weeks continued to go by, I grew more and more comfortable in my pregnancy, and the anxiety started to lessen. After going through two recent losses, it kind of steals the joy of pregnancy because you are constantly worried about "what if". In December, when I was around 24-25 weeks, I tripped on some stairs and landed right on my stomach. Not long after I began having contractions, and my doctor sent me in to Labor and Delivery. My heart was terrified. I couldn't fathom making it all this way with this pregnancy and then losing her. They gave me a shot and some meds to stop the pre-term labor, and sent me home. The next day, the contractions continued to come, so back to the hospital we went. They gave me more meds, and kept me overnight to make sure the labor had stopped. When they sent me home, they prescribed me with a medication to take every 6 hours. I took that medication from week 25 all the way to week 36, and our little girl continued to healthily grow. Currently I am 38 weeks pregnant and we are beyond ready to meet our little miracle baby.

I've had alot of people give me "the side eye" for being pregnant at 22, and for not waiting till after I finished nursing school (which I am set to graduate in May 2015). That was my original plan. But I am living proof that plans don't always go the way you want them to. When we lost the first baby, we decided not to try to control when we would have our first child. Because I've had such a struggle with my body carrying a pregnancy, I didn't want to possibly miss my only chance to have a little one. We don't regret our decision for an instance. I still fully intend to make it through nursing school, and even though we are young, we are fully prepared to take on the responsibility of little miss Skylee Rae Hester.