Our Journey: Life Before & After Our Miracle : May 7th

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

May 7th - 5 Weeks 5 Days Pregnant

It's been an extremely long day today. I got up and did my normal routine of having breakfast and taking my vitamins. Cleaned up a little bit, and decided to go to the beach for a little while before my Algebra class. As soon as I arrived at the beach I got an email from my Algebra teacher saying "I'm feeling sick and I need rest today. Class is cancelled." Sounded great to me!! I laid on the beach for about an hour and a half, then started feeling really hot so I jumped in the water for a little swim to cool down. Then I decided to go shopping and, maybe, just maybe, buy a baby outfit :) I haven't allowed myself to do that yet since we don't know the baby's sex......but I REALLLLLLLYYYY wanna buy some outfits. It's killing me. Anyways, on the way to the store, I decided to make better use of my time and take my car by Advanced Auto Parts so that Daniel wouldn't have to do it when he got off work. My car has been giving me trouble starting lately, so we figured it was either the starter or the battery. The guy from AAP came out and told me that he could charge my battery and see if that was the problem, so he took it in and told me it would be about half an hour. Sooooooo I sat on the curb in the parking lot for what seemed like an eternity. It was SOOOO hot. He finally came back out about an hour later, and said, "I'm so sorry ma'am. I totally forgot about you out here." He then plugged something into my battery, and a paper printed out that said "Battery needs to be replaced." So after all that, I still ended up replacing the battery.

My initial plan was to go home, ride my bike to the sea wall and have a walk so that I'd get my cardio in for the day. But when I got home, it was about 2:30, and I was starving. I made myself some Ramen noodles, then sat down on my bed to relax for a minute before going for my walk. That's the last thing I remember before waking up from a 2 and 1/2 hour nap! Guess my body was tired.

After dinner, we went to the beach and swam for an hour, then watched the sunset. So I still ended up getting my cardio in for the day which I was happy about. Didn't make much difference though......we went to Dairy Queen for icecream when we left the beach. :) :) What can I say.......I'm a sucker for icecream!

On a more serious note.......I got this random idea to pee on a stick again to see if I would finally get my bright positive, but the line was still very faint. :/ Kinda makes me nervous that everything is going okay. I haven't had any bleeding, which is a good sign. Lots of cramps, but they've told me that as long as I'm not bleeding AND cramping, I'm fine. :'/ I sure hope so. I'm very worried about this now. At my 7 week marker we are going in for an ultrasound to check the baby and see the heartbeat. That feels like forever from now. I just really want to know that everything is fine with my little gummy bear. <3

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The Story of Our Struggle

We met in 2009, and were married in January, 2012. We both decided to wait to have a baby, so that we could enjoy being young and newly married. Surprisingly, even with our precautions, we discovered we were pregnant in May, 2012. Sadly, the pregnancy didn't last long, and I had a miscarriage at approximately 5 weeks pregnant. We were both devastated. I struggled with the question of how I could love a little one so much that I thought I "wasn't ready for". After the miscarriage, we decided to stop using precautions and to allow a baby to happen when the timing was right. Almost exactly a year later, on April 30th, I received the phone call from the doctor that my blood test came back positive. I was sure this time would be different. I painted a shell (with the words "will you be our baby's daddy") to announce the pregnancy to Daniel (just like he proposed to me). We made Mother's Day gifts to announce the pregnancy to our families on Mother's Day. The day before Mother's Day, however, I started bleeding, and on that following Monday I received miscarriage confirmation. The first miscarriage was hard, but this one truly devastated me. I didn't want to function. I literally wanted to just withdraw from everyone and spend each day in tears. Thankfully, as a few weeks went by, I felt stronger and my heart was healing. Daniel was my rock. He held me, cried with me, and walked me through a really hard time in my life.

The doctors had told me my uterus is extremely tilted back, which kind of explained why it had taken me exactly a year in between pregnancies to conceive again. Actually, I had two different doctors tell me that because of the extreme tilt, I could possibly never get pregnant. So, knowing that, I really didn't think a third pregnancy would happen......at all, or at least not any time soon.

Only a month and a half later, I tested positive again (on Daniel's 23rd birthday). I immediately sent a picture of the test to my family and his family. I saw no reason to try to make some kind of special reveal like I had with the last. That only made it harder when I lost that little one. I went to the doctor and got blood test confirmation, and they began having me come in every other day to have blood drawn to see if this baby was growing properly. Things looked good, and the weeks began to go by. I started making it to little milestones.
We found out when I was 17 weeks that we were having a baby girl. Words cannot describe the complete joy and happiness I felt making it to the ultrasound for gender determination. As the weeks continued to go by, I grew more and more comfortable in my pregnancy, and the anxiety started to lessen. After going through two recent losses, it kind of steals the joy of pregnancy because you are constantly worried about "what if". In December, when I was around 24-25 weeks, I tripped on some stairs and landed right on my stomach. Not long after I began having contractions, and my doctor sent me in to Labor and Delivery. My heart was terrified. I couldn't fathom making it all this way with this pregnancy and then losing her. They gave me a shot and some meds to stop the pre-term labor, and sent me home. The next day, the contractions continued to come, so back to the hospital we went. They gave me more meds, and kept me overnight to make sure the labor had stopped. When they sent me home, they prescribed me with a medication to take every 6 hours. I took that medication from week 25 all the way to week 36, and our little girl continued to healthily grow. Currently I am 38 weeks pregnant and we are beyond ready to meet our little miracle baby.

I've had alot of people give me "the side eye" for being pregnant at 22, and for not waiting till after I finished nursing school (which I am set to graduate in May 2015). That was my original plan. But I am living proof that plans don't always go the way you want them to. When we lost the first baby, we decided not to try to control when we would have our first child. Because I've had such a struggle with my body carrying a pregnancy, I didn't want to possibly miss my only chance to have a little one. We don't regret our decision for an instance. I still fully intend to make it through nursing school, and even though we are young, we are fully prepared to take on the responsibility of little miss Skylee Rae Hester.